One Second Here

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one second here

then gone in a flash

as strangers take one more breath than you will ever get to make

~

the television plug is pulled

right in the middle of some throwaway line

the light dimming

to the deepest black

~

it is a shade only seen once

at the end of walking

and talking

and breathless smiles

empty-full kisses

times of gratitude

and times of self pity

~

complicated to the final second

still trying to make meaning

where meaning can never be made

~

you walk on days like air walks on water

one second here

then gone in a flash

 

 

 

 

Best Before

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I’m sorry

if you did not know

how to be

or what to say

when you held me close

and thought it was ok

You didn’t ask

and sensed the situation wrong

believing it was right

to hold me so tight

~

See I’ve been held before my friend

by those who thought taking

was a gift solely for me

unwrapped and unwritten

all within a minute

How could you know

this slate was not clean? 

Sea of Strangers

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Today I want to talk about strangers.

We live in a world full of strangers. They walk amongst us, thinking all sorts of thoughts and guess what: You’re never going to know what goes on in another person’s head.

Just stop it, right now. Stop thinking that you’ll ever know anything outside of yourself. It’s an impossible feat. A task unworthy of your time and energy. When it really comes down to it, we are all strangers on a train to nowhere. Maybe you think they have got it all figured out. You know who I’m talking about. Them. They. Others. Not you basically.

Bullshit.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Shout it out loud if that helps. The smartest person in the room is the smartest person in the room because you gave them that title. At this current moment in time I work in a profession where everyone is clawing for that title in particular. I sit in the back of every staff meeting watching the birds pick at each other, grasping for worms.

Sometimes, when the moment drifts and their voices mute I can see right through the walls to the trees outside. The wind scrapes against the leaves and wisps by my face with an exciting aura of unpredictability. That’s when I know they have no idea.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I’m back. I smile, and I know what really matters. Me. My thoughts. The mirror that makes me is the one I choose to look at, not the other way around.

As I continue to listen I am no longer afraid of my own voice. My mouth opens. I speak. And it really does not matter what these strangers fucking think of me.

 

Girl Talk

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Girl talk is not about what we say to other girls

It is about what we say to ourselves

It is what happens when we see mostly mirrors

and stitch words into our skin

as though we were taught

right from the beginning

to wear the whispers of other people

I’ll Remember

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I’ll remember how I wanted to tell you everything

rummaging around in my head

I’ll remember the crumbs I gave you

and the tears that threatened to shed

I’ll remember how I locked it all away

and let you speak instead

 

-Mother & Daughter in the café

At Court

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I am not a Princess

I am the Queen of all my days

and the King of all the time that is left

for I do not bow to Fools

or laugh at the Jester who impedes my way

I walk this day as one walks in grass

barefoot

sunken feet into the dirt

green shards between my toes

and I know that I am home