Today’s Thought

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Meditation changed my life. If you haven’t tried it or think its hippy dippy nonsense then you will never understand the relief that comes from escaping yourself for 30 minutes. The first time I meditated, I woke to discover that the person I thought I was never truly existed. At 25 years old I met myself for the first time.

Today’s Thought

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It’s ok to start all over again everyday. Sometimes you just need to feel like you can change something tomorrow. I like waking up everyday and believing it’s the beginning of my new life. That way I can approach people like I’m meeting them for the first time. There’s so much more joy in life when every part of the so-called “mundane” weekday has something new to discover.

Summertime

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There’s an invisible barrier

separating my skin from the warm caress of this Thursday afternoon

A shield to guard the realm of my infinite body

the one inside that sometimes sneaks out to play under the summertime sun

One that kisses the molecules of water

rising unbeknownst to most men

I shyly embrace the flowers between my toes

as  though they had snuck here in a sinister manner

like the neighbour boy

through a window

trying not to be seen

My feet and hands walk the wooden stairs to my manicured garden

turning away from the freshly trimmed grass to admire the weeds

and watch I will

the wavering clouds that say goodbye with such delight

They will not rain down today

and wash away this infinite girl who glides through the day

as one glides on ice

 

Walls

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I lived in London a couple years ago. I decided to move there on my own because I was a shy 23 year old who had just finished her teaching degree. I looked back on my four years of study and realized that I had wasted so much time waiting around for my life to start.

I had literally spent four years waiting for life to find me while I watched TV and ate pasta. I had come so far in life it would seem. From a young optimistic four year old making pasta necklaces, to a 23 year old woman eating pasta so often it decided to hang around (namely on her gut and thighs).

So anyway, I did the only thing I thought I could do to actively change my life. I ran away.

For everyone who cared about me, I called it an adventure, my chance to see the world. However, in reality, I was just so fucking done with my life. I needed a break from it.

I recall one particular lonely London day. I was sitting on my bed marking assessments. I was listening to Hozier on repeat because I had chosen his latest album to be my woeful theme music.

The room was so big, too big. There were too many empty spaces surrounding me. I hated it. I could feel the entire vacant space swirl around as I continued to scratch red lines onto paper I could barely read (seriously, kids, it is not that hard to separate your letters).

The walls had been covered with ugly off-white wallpaper that was peeling in places. I could see yellow stains here and there and I wondered what disgusting find I may stumble upon if I was to peel back the wallpaper completely.

I feel like people pride themselves on having so much space. It is as if you are suddenly important because you have purchased the emptiness between the distances of stuff.

In the end, it does not matter how much distance you purchase, for I had realized on that lonely London day that I would much rather be closer to things.