Beauty & Starvation

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If you have nothing at all then you have nothing to lose.

This is the flawed philosophy I carry around like a tonne of bricks tied to my back. I don’t believe I willingly choose this state of thinking. Sometimes thoughts simply become you – a result of all your experiences.

Are we not the total sum of everything that made us? (or unmade us?)

I saw a picture last night of a young boy. His skin was practically touching bone and his eyes were deep black pools. It was as if no soul existed behind his face. Like it had been sucked away by circumstance.

We are all born into different circumstances.

I was born into a circumstance where food was given to me as comfort, and eyes were given to make me uncomfortable.

He was born into a circumstance where food was rarely given, and I’m sure that is more uncomfortable than the unhappiness I feel when I look into the mirror.

I think about food and what it’ll do to my hips.

For a long time I never truly considered the millions of souls dragging their hips along the dirt, gasping for breath.

I wonder about the tears they would shed if shown my local grocery store. I also wonder about the reflections I stop to stare at in every mirror of every store. How I examine every curve, every line, every fold.

And lastly, I think about how I never stop to consider, the beauty of a nourished soul.

 

 

 

 

Morning Coffee Stop

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I wander for a while on polished tiles

and never consider slipping

or melting under the neon lights

of commodities blanket halls

I glimpse outside

and the sky tells a lie

the day should wake

but it is night-time still

a grey day consuming

the should-be summer haze

I raise my Mocha “To Death”

saving nothing for life

 

 

 

 

 

 

Food Market

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Scents collapse into each other

like a tower made of butter

melting under a hot fan

A chaotic mess of multiple places

permeating the creases of my skin

so that I may taste

with every inch of my body

Every cell salivates and dances with joy

my face – an expression no human has ever seen

for it is a look unique to me

 

White Chocolate

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I crave the delicacy of white chocolate

the sweet hot delight to warm my cold disposition

The embrace of its arm around my throat

not to choke

but to caress me from my waking state

into a dream with thick buttery rivers

and days sunken into the grass

soaking under the Sun

watching this chocolate world melt around me

into new forms

new places to explore

new, beautiful things to make me cry