Final Thoughts

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When I think about the day my eyes close

and my last breath has made it’s way out

into the world

never to return again

I know that I’ll care nothing for all these clothes

and handbags

and lipstick

that never stood a chance to survive

in this mind

that calls out for a true life…

Sea of Strangers

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Today I want to talk about strangers.

We live in a world full of strangers. They walk amongst us, thinking all sorts of thoughts and guess what: You’re never going to know what goes on in another person’s head.

Just stop it, right now. Stop thinking that you’ll ever know anything outside of yourself. It’s an impossible feat. A task unworthy of your time and energy. When it really comes down to it, we are all strangers on a train to nowhere. Maybe you think they have got it all figured out. You know who I’m talking about. Them. They. Others. Not you basically.

Bullshit.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

Shout it out loud if that helps. The smartest person in the room is the smartest person in the room because you gave them that title. At this current moment in time I work in a profession where everyone is clawing for that title in particular. I sit in the back of every staff meeting watching the birds pick at each other, grasping for worms.

Sometimes, when the moment drifts and their voices mute I can see right through the walls to the trees outside. The wind scrapes against the leaves and wisps by my face with an exciting aura of unpredictability. That’s when I know they have no idea.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I’m back. I smile, and I know what really matters. Me. My thoughts. The mirror that makes me is the one I choose to look at, not the other way around.

As I continue to listen I am no longer afraid of my own voice. My mouth opens. I speak. And it really does not matter what these strangers fucking think of me.

 

Self-inflicted

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I wish you knew

not everyone is a thief

 

Your days are stolen by eyes

that cry out for acceptance

while walking past forests

without a glance to the left

 

You misread my calm

for carelessness

when the truth is

I could care less for thoughts

that aim to turn my vision red

 

For all I see are green trees

and each leaf

as it edges further

to the forest floor

 

Walk with me

in the darkest of woods

breathe the wet air

and throw your fair skin

into the muddy path beneath your feet

thrash around for a while

and let the thunder die

 

 

 

Girl Talk

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Girl talk is not about what we say to other girls

It is about what we say to ourselves

It is what happens when we see mostly mirrors

and stitch words into our skin

as though we were taught

right from the beginning

to wear the whispers of other people

Thoughts on Meditation

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On my way to meditation class I felt the urge to drive into a tree. On the way home I just wanted to drive.

Some days are like that. It’s like experiencing blindness with too much visual stimulation. Walking around as the ultimate contradiction.

Meditate. Strip it all away. Peel back all the pieces you thought really mattered and stop to feel the ground beneath your feet. Don’t just know that it’s there like some concept you can analyse.

At least once a day, find the truth behind all the ideas.

At least once a day, find some time to find you.